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Is Motherhood a Dream Killer?

Motherhood is a transformative journey that brings immense joy, love, and fulfillment. However, society often portrays motherhood as a dream killer—a notion that suggests women must sacrifice their ambitions, goals, and dreams once they become mothers. Growing up, I used to hear older women tell us not to have children too young or else we couldn't live out our dreams. Thinking back, I never understood or believed it. Now that I have my children, I understand why they would say that. Though I still don't fully agree with the "air" behind the statement, I can empathize. Having children can hinder you because you never know who your child will be or how having a child will impact your mental health or availability.

Motherhood looks differently for every mom. The working mom, the widowed mom, the single mom, the differently abled mom, the stay at home mom, the military mom, the doctor/nurse mom, the entertainment industry, we all go through so many different things and still have to be a mom.

Managing Me

It can be hard to figure out how to manage being a mom, a spouse, and a dreamer. Somehow it's still very accomplishable when we set realistic expectations. One thing that freed me from feeling paralyzed was reimagining what working towards my goals look like. One day while scrolling Instagram, I came across this post:

Focusing on different parts of myself everyday is still better than focusing on my whole self every day. Doing a little bit, is far better than doing nothing at all and it's the most realistic approach (for me). I'm learning to prioritize my mental health first. For me this looks like showers daily, journaling, a workout routine, buying new clothes, date nights, 'grown-up' time with my husband, and doing things that I love along the way. This will look different every day. Sometimes, my self care comes first thing in the morning, sometimes, it's while the kids play outside, other times it's during their nap or after they've gone to bed at night. It doesn't matter when it happens, so long as it happens. Here are some other ways to enhance your motherhood journey:

1. Embracing New Perspectives

Becoming a mother opens up new perspectives and enhances personal growth. It brings about a shift in priorities, allowing women to reassess their dreams and aspirations. Rather than perceiving motherhood as a barrier, it can be seen as an opportunity for personal development and self-discovery. The experience of nurturing a child fosters resilience, patience, and adaptability—qualities that can contribute to success in various endeavors.

2. Redefining Success

Success is not limited to traditional career achievements. Motherhood provides an opportunity to redefine success on one's own terms. It allows women to cultivate their skills, talents, and passions, whether through balancing work and family, starting a business, pursuing further education, or engaging in creative endeavors. By redefining success to encompass both personal and professional growth, motherhood can empower women to achieve their dreams in diverse ways.

3. Inspiring Next Generations

Motherhood is an opportunity to shape future generations by instilling values, confidence, and ambition in children. By pursuing their dreams and demonstrating resilience, mothers become role models, inspiring their children to believe in their own potential. When children witness their mothers balancing responsibilities and following their passions, it encourages them to strive for their own dreams, fostering a cycle of empowerment and achievement.

4. Building Supportive Networks

Motherhood creates opportunities for connecting with other like-minded women who share similar aspirations. Building supportive networks, whether through mom groups, online communities, or professional organizations, allows mothers to exchange experiences, seek guidance, and find mentorship. These networks provide a support system that enables women to navigate the challenges and pursue their dreams with confidence.

5. Nurturing Self-Care and Balance

Taking care of oneself is essential for personal well-being and pursuing dreams. While

motherhood involves nurturing others, it is equally important for mothers to prioritize self-care and maintain a healthy work-life balance. By prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries, and seeking support when needed, mothers can maintain their physical and emotional well-being, which in turn empowers them to chase their dreams. This past weekend, I had the opportunity to be a part of history. The first, black-owned children's bookstore in North Carolina, Liberation Station Bookstore, opened in downtown Raleigh. I am so incredibly proud of this family and their hard work. I am forever grateful to share in this moment with them as one of the many (amazing) authors that were present. This was a reminder to me that my dreams didn't die in motherhood, they walked with me as I mothered and will continuously do so.

Motherhood should not be perceived as a dream killer, but rather as a catalyst for personal growth and empowerment. By embracing new perspectives, redefining success, inspiring future generations, building supportive networks, and prioritizing self-care, mothers can thrive in pursuing their dreams while raising their children. Let us celebrate the strength and resilience of all the incredible mothers who continue to chase their dreams and create a brighter future for themselves and their families. Together, we can break the stereotypes and empower mothers to live their fullest lives.

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If you're ready to get back to dreaming and creating as a mom, schedule your 1:1 with me, I'd love to help.

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