March is widely known for two holidays, St. Patrick's Day and of course, National Women's History Month.
I am taking this month to personally reflect on the women in my history, my lineage, and pay homage to them. I would not be where I am or who I am without their existence and influence. Knowing their stories-failures and triumphs-- I am encouraged to persevere through every obstacle. I am empowered to not be complacent but to take on new challenges and elevate myself. While I reflect on what that means for me, I also want to share this with my children--- especially my three-year-old daughter, Kaci. She is naturally strong-willed. Baby girl hasn't needed much help believing that she can do anything, okay?!. So color me shocked, when I began to notice her entering a developmental phase of comparison and insecurity (believing she can no longer do things that she has always done, and regressing because of the new baby). I feel like now is as good of a time as any to encourage her and begin to teach her how to empower herself. Reflecting on the lives of my sisters, my mother, grandmother, and great grandmother, I'm feeling refreshed and empowered and I'm sharing all of this energy with my baby girl and hope you can feel it, too! Here are some ways I'm teaching her to feel empowered.
Feel all the feelings, girl!
In our house, we aren't afraid of big feelings, we just can't stay there and let those feelings guide our decision making. We can't allow them to make decisions for us that we can't undo. Lately, she's been saying she's afraid to use the potty (mostly as an excuse to not go potty) but we counter that with "I can be afraid and still do what I need to do" and "I'm afraid, but I'm a brave girl". Fear may come to visit, but it's not stopping the buck on anything! I hope she remembers this lesson, fo'eva!!!
Beginning our Day Strong Mama is currently on a health journey. It's super important to me to not speak negatively of myself during this process, especially in front of our daughter. I do not want her to ever speak negatively of herself or her body, but if she does, she won't get those words from me. She is watching me work out and joins in on the "fun" right a long with me. She encourages me and says "come on mom, you got this" and it couldn't warm my heart anymore than it already does. What's helping me is to start my day with affirmations and creating ones for Kaci, too! Here are some that we say during our morning routine before we do our workouts:
I am beautiful!
When I calm down I can think things through.
I am strong!
I am brave!
I am a great helper.
I'm so unique, there's nobody else like me!
Letting Her Lead
This is where we have to be in our observant bag. In order to empower our children, we have to know when a new and challenging skill is actually just too much for them to handle. Pushing your child to do/learn something new before they are ready can be a blow to their self-esteem and set them back with the constant failure. It's okay to fail, BUT failure + an intrinsic desire to keep trying is when we really learn. So let them lead. When they show you they are interested in something, be there to guide them and cheer them on.
Reading Empowering Stories In all the things you try to teach, never underestimate the power of a goooood book.
Stacey Abrams book "Stacey's Extraordinary Words" is a phenomenal book of courage and newly found confidence.
We can teach our girls that they can do hard things. They are brave, beautiful, intelligent, and so unique! I hope you join me this month in focusing on empowering your daughters and yourself. While you're reminding your child they've got this, make sure you remind yourself, too! <3
And as always, remember that you never have to parent alone. If you need to work through an issue you are having, click here.