I can see the eyerolls and hear the objection from here! Peaches, how in the world am I going to survive today without my schedule?
Listen, nobody is saying to ditch [a schedule] I am saying to ditch your RIGID schedule. Being a stickler for ___ to happen at 9 o'clock and not a minute before or after is likely frustrating you and your children to no end on a daily basis.
This is especially necessary for you who are operating as a newly stay at home parent or work from home -pandemic parent. You relied on that schedule and are wondering why you and your children are burning out of oil. You have to switch it up!
So what do you do?
Never underestimate the power of 10 minutes.
10 minutes is all you really need to get your children centered. 10 minutes is all you need to focus. 10 minutes is all you really need to get all the things done that are on your list. 10 minutes is all you really need to get your kids off your back for awhile. During the semester I was in a crazy social statistics class that required my attention. I would play with Kaci for 10 minutes, then go in my office and pull her room camera up on my phone. She'd leave me alone for about 25 minutes before she'd come toddling into my office. When she came in, I'd just break away and give her that attention and guess what? All she wanted was my attention for about 10 minutes! If I had kept pushing her away and telling her to get down, it would have turned into something much more than it ever needed to be and it would've taken me longer to get back to my work. Not to mention I would've returned much more frustrated and unfocused.
What does this look like for the pandemic parent? This looks like ten minutes of you laying in bed with your kid while they are awake but being slow in the morning. Giving them tickles, starting their day off with a smile.
This looks like silly faces at breakfast and dancing it out to your favorite songs before you log-on for work and they log-in for class.
This looks like getting a quick game of UNO in before your 9am meeting. This way, win or lose, they are looking forward to the next match on your break. This is where you say, "You go to ___ class/complete ___ assignment while I do my work and we will play again afterwards".
Tailor this to your child's personality and things that they like.
For those with smaller children, this may require more TV time than you would like, and I'm right there with you. Those on Sesame Street are currently my nannies and I had to let my fear of screen time go during the pandemic when we can't gather with other families and our friends at the library. My daughter is 17 months, has over thirty words, and is meeting all of her other milestones. She will even simultaneously play while watching TV. That's a win! That's a part of our rigidness that we may need to break. Everything we once did has to be reevaluated. Some boundaries will have to be adjusted. Here's a sample of our day: * Wake and meditate/pray (gotta tap in with myself!) * 15 minute work out * Shower * Get breakfast completed I let Kaci sleep in as long as she wants & if she is still sleep (she can sleep until 10 some days, most days it's 9AM), I begin to do whatever is on my personal list. Once she's up
* she bathes, hair and breakfast.
* I give Kaci my undistracted attention for 3 hours
* Nap for Kaci (If she doesn't this is where I enter my office and just MAKE myself come available. This is where I will tap out of working and tap-in to her needs). * Take a moment for myself. This may be a 10 minute nap or just sitting in quiet and not doing a thing!
* Give the house what it needs & do any school work or the many things Peachy Parenting requires. Ten minute tap-ins are a way your little ones get what they need from you in multiple small doses instead of one big dose. That extensive amount of time seems fulfilling to you, but to a child who has no concept of time, it seems like it almost didn't even happen. Ten minute tap ins fill your child's emotional tank and motivates them for the day so you don't have to stay on top of them (as much)! FREEDOM!
The key to the ten minute tap-in is to give them the attention before they ask you or giving it to them in a timely manner once the need is expressed.
I really hope this works for you, because it has definitely worked for me AND my friends that
I've shared it with.
If you need help with something more specific, don't hesitate to book a 1-on-1 session with me! See you then <3
Peaches Dean, Parent Coach