Becoming a parent is no small task; especially when you are the birthing parent.
We are told that once they get here, every
thing will just come to us. We will naturally know what to do. We will naturally love them. Naturally know how to handle them when they cry...and that couldn't be further from the truth. We have to be taught how to manage our finances, taught how to build our credit, how to buy a home, and we even have to be taught how to handle labor and birth, but for some reason we skip the teaching how to be a parent. We even have to be taught how to care for ourselves after we give birth to the baby.
There are so many parts of yourself that you forget about once it's time to take care of this itty bitty baby who is depending on you for absolutely everything. You forget how to be yourself, how to make time for the things you like to do, and how to just simply feel beautiful again because everything has changed. Your face is a little different, your body is a lil different and now you have to learn to redress it. Feeling confident in the skin you're in feels like one is training for the Olympics. It is an everyday battle, but you get through it; one step at a time, day by day, affirmation after affirmation, you feel like you know who you are and are confident in being you once again.
This is exactly how your parenting journey will go! You now have this itty bitty baby depending on you for everything and you may become hyper focused on ensuring you aren't "messing them up". Well here goes the ball-buster...we ALL do or say something that could "mess up" our kids. We are human and so are they. We can't be perfect and even if by some miracle we could be, they still wouldn't be, because they are human, and we shouldn't want them to be. So how does a parent become confident in their parenting choices? Here are 3 ways to become more confident! 1. Get Educated-
It's not enough to raise your child the same way you were raised, because your child isn't you. They have a different personality and different needs. Education about their development is CRITICAL. Learning what things to be cognizant of at age 1, 2, 3, and etc really help you put things into perspective. Knowing that more than 50% of toddlers do _____ will help you to understand YOU didn't do something for your child to behave a certain way. It also helps you to know when you may need to reach out for help/interventions for your child. 2. Affirm yourself-
When you know that you know what you know, you can be confident. Some days may be harder than others and you have to affirm yourself. "I am a loving parent", "I trust my decisions are in my child's best interest", "I will not withhold great experiences from myself or my child", "I deserve alone time", "I deserve to have fun", "I give my child what they need and more, I deserve to give to myself".
3. Have fun-
You will constantly feel at odds with your child if you find yourself always correcting instead of connecting. Yes, you are an adult but that doesn't mean you have to be serious all of the time! How often do you show affection? Laugh? Run? Bake? Do crafts? Water play? Show genuine interests in their thoughts and opinions? ----I'm going to be very candid-----Not all mothers and fathers naturally 'like' their child. It's imperative to do these activities so that you can get to know them and even grow to like them and have fun with them. Push through---have fun! What are some things you do to feel more confident in your parenting?