5 Reasons Why It's Okay To Be Your Child's Best Friend: Rethinking Our Relationships With Ou

Most of us heard these daunting five words as we grew up. They usually followed after our mother or father asked us a question and we responded in a less than favorable tone. You know that tone. The one that you give when your elbow is propped up on the car door, your head is leaning to the right and resting on your fist, and you’re just tired of hearing people speak. Yea, that one. It’s the one you gave when you really just wanted to scream, “leave me alone!!!” But you knew better. "I’m not your little friend” is what they would say to remind you that your tone was reckless. In hindsight, have you ever wondered why this was a constant declaration? A declaration that spoke to the foundation and overall health of this relationship. When you think of your friendships now, what are they made of? Are they a reflection of the relationship you had with your parents? This is why I think it’s perfectly fine to be friends with your child: 1. Quality time- its pretty simple. You get to spend time with each other, having fun, doing what you love. If the relationship is strained, it’s almost impossible to want to even be around each other. 2. Kindness- you are their first measure of kindness. The way you treat them and others matters and will also set a precedence of how they treat others and allow people to treat them. 3. Trust- via points 1 & 2, they learn just how trustworthy you are. 4. Honesty- when you speak with a friend, (someone you invest time in, are kind to, have built trust with through watching their actions and how they manage their other relationships), you expect that they won’t lie to you and in turn, you won’t lie to them. This is an element that is hard to come by in parent-child relationships, but it is one element that is greatly fortified in friendship. Honesty is a two-way street. & finally 5. Teaching moments- you teach them what a healthy friendship looks like. We don’t just grow up knowing how to be a friend. We see a lot of posts on social media that say moms are therapists, doctors, referees, chefs, and etc., why wouldn’t we add friend to that list? Be your child’s first friend, so they’ll know how to make a friend and be a friend. You, their first friend are where they learn vulnerability, how to be open, confident, and live their full truth without fear of judgement. And when they have you, as their first friend, the black thereof they may experience outside of your house won't be as terrifying. This should be read without saying, but I am going to say it anyhow. I’m aware that if your parent wasn’t your friend, you can still have healthy friendships and even a great relationship with your parent (I’m one of these people). But I also want to encourage friendship amongst parent-child relationships. As with any relationship, there should always be clear boundaries, and in all fairness, your child should be allowed to have boundaries, too. Comment and let me know what you think! Have a strained relationship with your daughter?Want to grow a stronger relationship with her? Purchase a copy of my activity book! It’s $8 til Monday! Activity book <—-click here